Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Arctic Oranges.com

Here’s a new investment opportunity. Let’s grow oranges in the Arctic.

Absurd you say. Not on your life.

Why should we let our neighbours to the south get all the glory?

The technologies are available; we just need to pool our resources. Wouldn’t it be fun to prove that anything you put your mind to do, you can do.

I already have some ideas about how it could be done. We’d manufacture the best glass greenhouses known to man. We’d get lights that give off natural rays of sunshine. We’d need a lot of oil keep the boilers burning. We’d probably have to fly in some dirt, the Canadian shield is pretty hard. This is just my initial thoughts, but I have a pretty good feeling that we could make it work.

I hope there are others out there who would like to invest with me in this wonderful enterprise. After all, who doesn’t like a sweet, juicy orange from time to time. My initial calculations for the cost per orange would only be $7,000. This is truly a small price to pay for such a delicious product. Israel did it in a desert, we can do it in the Arctic. Top that!

Forget abut buying oranges at 4 for a loonie. We’re doing something, that just in the doing of it, makes it special. Let’s rise to the challenge, dig in with perseverance, and overcome adversity.

Yawn.

OK, if this is such a blatantly stupid idea, then why in God’s name do we build crystal greenhouses called churches?

Wait a minute, we’re smarter than that. We don’t build cathedrals, we build warehouses bigger than Costco.

I know of churches with memberships of 500 people and $700,000 budgets. A good harvest each year is about 10%. Let's see, that’s 50 new converts at $14,000 per.

If oranges were not meant to grow in an artificial environment, why do we think that people should grow in an artificial environment?

Can you not sing, pray, watch a sermon, love your neighbour, …
in your homes?

Stop, stop. I know something that you can’t do in your home. You can’t have people in your home and not know them. Hah, got you on that one.

Yeppers, you got me thar matey.

3 comments:

Jamie A. Grant said...

Mwahaha! Yes yes yes!

Jamie A. Grant said...

For the record, I wasn't being sarcastic. I love this post, and I've used the analogy a few times myself since I read this.

By the way, David, this analogy isn't yours. Care to give credit where credit is due?

David Grant said...

Growing an orange tree in the arctic is a term that I've seen in a number of house church materials. Not sure who originally came up with it but I think it can be found in the book "Meetings in His Kingdom." Check out my blog with that title to get the web page where it can be downloaded for free. I wasn't trying to steal the glory from any one.